By now you should've heard of the term 'Self Love', if not where the hell have you been hiding?
The world and his wife have been preaching about 'Self Love Saturdays', having a lie in or having a long soak in a petal topped, essential oil laden, potentially super slippy and dangerous, bath.
But is this really going to make us feel ANY better?
There may be a moment of relief but I can almost guarantee that you get in the bath and within 5 minutes you are to-do listing and mentally completing endless unfinished tasks in your head or feeling guilty about how much time you've already had to spend away from the kids working this week.
For most people, let alone us business owning super mums, it's gonna take a bit more than a bath to get us to a point where we are completely in love with ourselves, our situations and our lives.
So what do we do instead?
We know that this is the foundation to a fulfilled and successful, down right HAPPY life, but that doesn't take us any closer to having it!
It has taken me around 4 years to get to a point where I finally do love myself, my business, and my life and even my single mum journey!
But it hasn't been easy, I was literally at a point where I had thought, more than once, about driving my car into a wall, because well, that would be easier than carrying on, because thats how guilty I felt, that's how worthless I felt underneath.
No clue of that in the photo right up there is there?
J was two months old and not a soul knew how desperate and lonely I felt inside.
Thankfully now I feel alive and connected to my self worth and I enjoy life again.
There will be days when I slip back into the negative self talk, the guilt, the fear, the over doing, the over pleasing, looking for external acceptance mode but generally those days are less and less.
so how did I get there?
After a good few years of reading, learning and more recently working with amazing coaches there were three big take aways for me! Here is the first:
1. Let go of FEAR and trust yourself and your journey!
There are no wrong turns or mistakes, only learning to be gained so there need not be so much fear!
Understanding and accepting this has literally changed and saved my life!
It has taken me from victim to heroine of my own story!
Choosing to see the twists and turns, the lonliness, the hurt and disarray caused by becoming a single Mum and being £25,000 in debt, passing out with stress working two jobs...
...as opportunities to learn and get to know myself so that I can move to a better place has been overwhelmingly powerful for me!
I no longer needed to punish myself for the things i did or didn't do and started to love myself more.
This is the ultimate self love fest!
No rose petal bathing required!
Just looking back on your journey and knowing that the darkness led or is leading to the light!
You see we are all on a journey, we are being guided by the universe, god, spirit, source, whoever you like, to a higher version of ourselves where we are truly at peace and content.
Life is abundant and freeing when we see that every mishap or crash is just a bump in the road that we need to travel to help us more clearly define what we want our life to be like and so that we can learn to handle ourselves better!
It's also there to give us the push we need to move us quickly towards where we are headed.
Whilst we can't deny all personal responsibility for our actions I most definitely can say that no matter what happens good or bad, I trust that I know where I am headed and love myself for my choices as they bring me learning and light.
The moment I could see that I had been on this rollercoaster of debt and exhaustion for a reason, for a purpose, so that I could aim for something better and develop skills, learn and eventually be able to share experiences to save others having to experience things in the dark way that I did, I felt lighter, more confident and more content with my lot!
And most of the feeling stuck went away!
I knew I didn't have to stay where I was!
I started to make big changes!
I started to take action!
And it paid off! Big time!
So the next time you enter into that familiar stress fuelled...
you're getting it all wrong,
you're not good enough,
why have you done this to yourself,
you'll never change...
self talk pattern, just remember that after the storm the rainbow appears, after the night always comes the morning!
You were given this path as you are strong enough for it and you do have the power to change things!
You are not stuck!
You can move forward!
If you'd like more support on your journey to success, so that you can make massive change in your life like I did moving from £25,000 in debt to a life of holidays and happiness, check out my Business Bootcamp at www.charlotte-victoria.com/businessbootcamp
There are only 9 spaces left now after Gemma, who owns an antenatal class and workshop business in Wigan, decided to take feel good action and snapped up the first spot!