How to get the confidence to do practically anything!

January 9, 2018

 

If you are considering taking a leap, making a move or calling it quits and you shudder at the mere thought of actually going through with it... here is the good news: the fear is supposed to be there.

 

The bad? You still have to go through it!

 

So this good news... the fear is supposed to be there. Fear is a very good sign that the move that you are considering is big enough to bring about great personal growth.

 

We are designed to seek and crave opportunities to evolve and transform and we only feel truly fulfilled when we are experiencing that. No fear means no stepping out of your comfort zone, no new learning and therefore no growth. So you stay exactly where you are. Stuck and probably if you are honest a bit bored! 

 

Ask anyone who has ever achieved anything great, at the start of their journey there was risk, they were absolutely pooing their pants no doubt, they had the same fear as you, but they did it anyway and the pay off was huge!

 

The fear will always be there, it's about learning to work with it rather than letting it paralyse you. 

It took me three attempts to actually leave my 9-5, I was one foot in, one foot out for an entire year. I retracted my notice twice. I convinced myself I didn't really want to leave and I didn't really feel called to do this work, after all surely working as teacher was calling enough. 

 

But that desire for growth, that knowing that I could have more and feel more kept coming back. j

 

Just as it is designed to.

 

An idea or a path that is meant for you will keep chasing you until you put the big girl pants on and take it on or until it becomes a regret.

 

A something you wished you'd been brave enough to do.

 

A something that you wish you'd taken a gamble on, knowing that even if things didn't work out as you had planned that it would still have been perfect for your personal growth.

 

A something that you wish you'd lept towards because if it hadn't worked out you'd know that it was because you deserved the journey, deserved the opportunity to learn and explore and grow and expand. 

 

Ask anyone who is at the end of their life. They will tell you: We only regret the things we didn't do.

 

This year, this has resonated more than ever before after loosing my uncle and later my grandma and it's pushing me to leap further and faster than ever before.

 

My goals for this year are bigger and scarier than ever.

 

So...How am i going to get through it?

 

1.

Witness the Fear

 

I am staring it in the face and welcoming it right on in! I know it's a great sign that I'm stretching, expanding and growing.

 

I am going to be calling it out whenever I am about to take action, by asking 'What is the worst thing that could happen?' I'll write down fear's response and check that those fears are real threats and valid. No doubt half the list will be irrational and unlikely outcomes. Those fears will not be tolerated. For any that do remain I'll be mapping out solutions, for which there always are.

 

Fear also operates on the down-low. It makes very good friends with our inner critic and can sometimes be misunderstood as the voice of reason. Imagine the sky news headlines banner rolling across the bottom of your TV screen. That is what our inner critic is like. A brain banner, constantly there, just rolling through our consciousness. Fear based criticism, you're not good enough-ism, comparisonitis and perfectionism.

 

Knowing that this goes on, probably on a daily basis for most of us, is the first step closer to eliminating it and this year those thoughts won't win.

 

 I'll be paying close attention to my thoughts and questioning them as often as I remember to.

 

 I'll also be using affirmations to literally re-wire my brain and over come the brain banner. The brain works on a use it or loose it system. Think a new thought and a new pattern or pathway  is created in the brain. Think it again and that pathway is strengthened. Again and it's stronger still. The brain favours these stronger pathways over the weaker ones.

 

So if you choose the thoughts you'd rather have and speak, say and feel them as often as you can they will eventually be favoured over those you'd rather forget.

 

Think a thought enough and it becomes a belief.

 

I'll be choosing I can over I can't at every opportunity. 

 

2.

Invite Love in

 

What we hold most in our consciousness is what tends to manifest. So i'll be reminding myself to ask fear to leave and to invite love in.

 

I'll be focused on the positives and what could go right.

 

I'll be choosing to see these leaps through the eyes of love rather than fear. 

 

Think of the outcome of taking a leap whilst telling yourself you'll likely fail.

 

What would your body language, motivation, your attitude, your attention to details, your productivity be like?

 

So i'll be switching that up by making note of the gains for me and my family of taking the leap and keeping them somewhere I'll see them often. Usually that is the kitchen worktop so it's the first thing I look at as I make my morning brew. 

 

3.

Don't take life for granted

 

Somebody somewhere is taking their last breath right now. They would give anything just to get one more chance.

 

I'll be reminding myself that you only get one shot as often as possible this year.

 

 4.

Stay focused on the present

 

I'll be staying present as often as possible using meditation or a country walk rather than racing ahead and predicting (read catastrophising) outcomes that I have no real control of.

 

I'll be reminding myself that the only thing we can be sure of is what is happening right in this moment.

 

Lets just say i'll be using the Louise Hay classic 'In this moment, all is well' mantra A LOT! 

 

5.

Motion Changes Emotion

 

I'll be moving my body to shake off any negativity as it crops up in my world. Tony Robbins tells us that our body language, how we are holding ourselves has a major impact on how we are feeling and on the presence of fear.

 

Want to turn to love? I'll be moving by body, maybe having a dance listening to uplifting songs or going for a walk to change my physiology and as a result change how I feel about what I am doing.

 

I'll also be using Amy Cuddy's power poses, think holding wonder woman in the kitchen for two minutes before taking that call or sending that email, which trick our minds into making us feel confident and proud. 

 

6.

Reconnect to Why

 

I'll be keeping the impact of me taking these leaps on my clients, the wider community and call me crazy but the ripple effect across the country and the world.

 

Never underestimate the power of you changing your own life.

 

You have no idea who you may be inspiring.

 

I'll be journalling on what would happen if I and other women like me did not take these big leaps and didn't turn to love and instead gave in to the fear. I can not allow that to happen and I

 know that is the biggest motivation I could have.

 

I'll also be reading testimonials from clients and journalling on why I am qualified to make these changes and play big whenever I feel like i want to hide away and go back to the 9-5.

 

7. 

Find Mentors

 

One of the biggest motivators for taking any action is to see somebody else doing it.

 

If they can do it so can you!

 

I've already booked my coach for this year as i know that even without our sessions just watching her leap will bolster my own confidence no end.

 

I'll also be finding and following other women on social media who are making things happen. They are feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

Good enough for them, It will be good enough for me. 

 

Wish me luck!

 

What are your biggest tips for taking action? How do you feel the fear and face it anyway?

 

If you'd like extra support in taking the leaps and making the changes that you know you need to

PM me or email me on info@charlotte-victoria.com 

 

 

 

 

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